Why Eloping is Important! | Wedding Photography | Worldwide
In today’s blog I want to touch on the topic of why eloping can be incredibly supportive to your mental health or instead why it’s a helpful way to maintain healthy life boundaries especially when starting a new chapter with your soon-to-be spouse. Getting married often combines two families and planning a wedding is stressful, and creating boundaries surrounding this big step in your lives can also be stressful particularly if you are a caregiver, or have a tendency to try and accommodate everyone around you, BUT most importantly you both don’t have to be either of those things to other people other than yourselves.
*Cough, cough* “BOUNDARIES!!” My inner therapist screams a little everytime I hear these comments, because truly your wedding should be special and unique to you. There are no “shoulds” in your wedding, there are only your wants and needs, your hopes and dreams. Don’t let anyone say you should “do this” or “do that.”
So, this is my reminder to couples out there taking this big step in their lives, because of how nerve-racking planning a wedding can become, I want to reassure you that it truly does not have to be overwhelming. I often hear engaged couples talking about how they don’t want to do a religious ceremony or speeches, yet their families are up in arms and upset about it. This doesn’t need to be the way you plan your wedding. You and your partner get to decide how you want this day to be celebrated, whether it's a backyard party or a special met gala style event.
Disclaimer time: I’m not convincing you to do an elopement, this is just my personal suggestion to keep your options open in order to give yourselves the wedding of your dreams!! Elopements can support people in a variety of ways, but creating healthy boundaries that are profoundly critical to our mental health will make planning your next chapter that much easier.
As a portrait, wedding and elopement photographer, here are my tips on making your elopement the BEST decision you and your partner made in order to have the most magical day to remember:
Invite who YOU want.
One of the things I hear most is: “everyone wants me to invite so and so and their family.” OR I hear “I really don’t want kids at my wedding, but all my family members have so many kids.” So, why not just make it easier on yourself and don’t invite people you don't want at your wedding, i.e. children at your wedding? If you have intentions on inviting certain people who are already pressuring you to invite other people to your own wedding day, you are more than allowed to uninvite, or set a boundary and simply say “no.”
Pick a location that feels most like you and your partner.
Couples often tell me that they picked a location because it was closer to family so that everyone could make it, and okay I understand that, totally on board, I strongly believe that including family and making things accessible is super important, BUT I also believe in your happiness. Meaning, if you want to go on a hike to get married, then do so. The people that love you and are able to will make it. You can always do a second mini ceremony, or party at the bottom of the mountain, but ultimately pick a spot that feels most like you, because the people that care and love you most will show up and if they can’t they will understand. It’s not about them, it’s about you and your fiancé.
Wear the outfit of your DREAMS.
What you wear on your wedding day has nothing to do with anyone else. If you have a family member that is overly involved in picking your wedding outfits keep in mind that this is about you and your own confidence and comfortability. If you'd rather wear a pantsuit on your day DO THE THING!!
Have a therapist while planning your wedding.
I'm not telling you what to do here, or pushing therapy (maybe I am lol) but having a therapist during the wedding planning season can be so helpful. I’ve been the therapist for clients getting married, and it’s a great place to process the emotions and bumps in the road that come with planning a wedding. So seriously, just a tip!
Ultimately it's your special day, the day you get to marry the person you love most in the world. Whether you elope to the top of Mount Baker in Washington State, or the hills of Joshua Tree down in California, or in the Cathedral of your dreams in Boston, Massachusetts. I am here to support, and capture every moment of your memorable day.
